I've never given much thought to my human name. Mostly because it's always been MINE, and solely mine alone. It wasn't until I lost it that I realized just how important it was.
There wasn't much to the dream, yet the loss affected me tremendously. It was dark and dreary and there were sexual encounters in between. The dream began with a thought, really. A brief and small worry about bringing my social security inside my bag to this... gathering. This gathering was more like a reunion, consisting of a few people from my elementary class.
I can't quite remember how it occurred but essentially one of my old classmates wanted me to do something which I initially refused. He was smug about it, saying he knew a way to get me to do what he wanted. He pulled out my social security card and I looked at him, horrified. I don't know if I complied even after I discovered his advantage.
I remember running through the darkness, out of the dreary shack the event was being held in. I had few allies and I pleaded with them to help me retrieve my identity. It was a long journey and it was a futile one because when I finally returned his mental state was drunken and he reminded me of my alcoholic brother whom I despised.
When I did return, with no one who could aid me, I did as he asked. To my surprise, it was meaningless because he'd already sold my identity on the internet for 75,000 dollars. The sinking feeling in my stomach was profound. I had no idea what I was to do, was there anyone that could help me?
And it made me wonder.... What is identity but a name and a number? It's obvious to me that no one else can take my essence, my soul.. there is none like it whether or not another human shares my name or takes my number. I will always be who I am.
Perhaps this is why I'm so baffled by the dream... because it suggests otherwise. It suggests that identity is not bound to self and that it can be sold for a price.
