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laceyjoyshadow
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starlight
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dream
12 years ago
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2008
Hunger pains

For almost a month the most physical contact I've received or given is a hug and the touch that occurs during my massage sessions. I'm not talking about sexual contact, I'm talking the kind of contact that occurs between human beings that are close whether it be family, close friends or lovers...It's horrible! I love hugs and closeness!! I feel like I've been going through some serious withdrawals. Like literal physical withdrawals. At times I feel weak and drained when I think of all of my close friends who I can not interact with them and receive their innocent closeness and when I think of my ex lover. I don't miss him as much or in the same way I used to, but I very much miss having a deep connection with someone. I must remain strong! It's such a deep ache. It makes me feel like a weak person... Anyways I explain this because my dreams have lately been filled with physical contact and I'm sure its because of the lack there of in my waking life. Most of it has been purely innocent tho. Like being a child playing patty cake or running across the street holding hands..

The setting is in a large shadowy and dark bathroom. It's lit by a vast amount of candles that smell absolutely heavenly. Reminds me of what love would smell like... The room was also filled with beautiful art and flowers. My body is in a huge old style like tub yet there are jets and lots of bubbles!! Off white yellowish candles rim the tub and cast a warm glow on the bubbles and my skin. At first I'm a child, splashing around and running my hand through the flame of the candles yet they never went out. A presence appears, its a shadow figure. Not solid. It's a male I think yet I don't have creeped out vibes and they feel benevolent. They play with me in a way, running their hand through the candles and making them go out. I gasp and the candles reignite and bubbles softly blow in my face. We giggle and laugh in a deep state of Joy. The figure leaves and I submerge my head under water and listen to the sound of my voice. When I reemerge, my body is back to being an adult. The lighting has more of a glow to it. Not long and the shadow figure returns. They touch me in a very intimate spot and continue up my trunk to my head in a straight line. Then it leaned over the tub and started kissing me. Once it's lips were on mine it felt solid and I could feel it's hands touching my body and tugging and pulling its fingers through my wet hair. My eyes were closed but I remember wondering if the figure gained a normal human look since they felt like a person when they started kissing me... When I opened my eyes, I woke up...alone....

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