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Deep Space.

Aug 10th, 2014

As I watched the dust particles dance behind the jeep in the Texas heat, I tried to think of a word to describe the empty pain that's throbbing behind my breastplate. My soul was bleeding with heavy darkness of betrayal, so deep that no words could even come close to be accurate.

I slid from the passenger seat after my brother parked the dusty jeep in the shade. I dizzily grabbed my backpack that's loaded with water, snacks, and climbing gear. I braved the scorching heat that found its way into the shade, as I followed my brother to our first climb of the day. I made a silent promise to myself that I'll make it to the top, no matter what may come in the way.

I slipped into my newly broken into shoes that cracked my toenail the last time I used them in Cali, hours before my flight took off. Little did I know he would cheat on me and leave me with no heart left to love again. My heart is deep space while my head is maths. I took a big breath as I pushed that thought far back in my mind that it could leak out, and vanish forever.

I stared at the wall and began the problem solving progress as I tied a figure eight knot. I gripped the rocks and made my first few moves before I realized I miscalculated. There are no hand holds. This 5.11 climb began to mock me while the heat was making my body weaker by the minute. The struggle continued for another ten minutes before I was able to move upward.

I sat down after I mantled to the top. I couldn't believe that I made it. That climb taught me two things. If you want something bad enough, anything is possible as long as you don't give up and fight for it. Another thing, I realized that my body is made for this, so I'm not going to stop reaching to new heights while pushing my limits. I smiled for the first time in weeks.

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