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The Girl Under Water

A girl is under water, suspended and still. She is upside down with one leg straight, pointed toward the water’s surface, and the other leg bent at a ninety degree angle. Her hands are tied to a taut chain that extends down into the darkness. She is nude, and it feels like she is close to death, dying, or in a coma.
I feel so sorry for her. I feel like I’m supposed to save her, along with the dark haired boy standing with me that I think is Nyght. We’re standing next to each other in this large store room in a building that feels like a hospital mixed with a mall, looking down at the tank that the girl is in. We just stand there. There’s the feeling we should save her, but neither of us do anything. There is no urgency. There is nothing but the slightly nagging notion. [End]

Relative to Real Life~
Night of October 30th, 2013
Real-life characters: Girl under water (turns out to be me- see notes below).
Dream-created characters: Nyght.
Real-life places: None.
Dream-created places: Water, edge of the tank, hospital/mall.
Reoccurring: Nyght is a reoccurring dream-created character.
Precognitive: No experiences yet.

Note: (11-24-14) It wasn’t until I woke that I realized the drowning girl was myself. It was my body that I saw under the water. It was me dying. I believe that the reason I didn’t even recognize my own face, my own body, is because of the hospital trip.
At the time of this dream, I was staying in a total of three hospitals with my mom, grandma, and grandpa over the coarse of two months, as the doctors tried and figure out what is wrong with my grandpa’s throat. One of the hospitals that we stayed in for two sessions of two weeks was over five hours away from home, a distance that I drove myself with no prior experience in driving such a distance.
I couldn’t possibly describe all of the details without taking up a novel-length post, so in short, it was quite the ordeal. All of us had to tap into our inner strength as we tried and keep him alive, get him diagnosed, and get him cured.
For a couple of months before his health declined, I was spiraling into major depression. It was getting, /bad/, to say the least. I didn’t think there was going to be an end to the spiral. I thought I was going to keep spinning deeper and deeper… and that I was so deep that there was no way to swim back up.
But, when my grandpa had this issue, it was like an adrenaline kick-start. I had to be there for him- for my grandma- for my /Mom/. They /needed/ me. I don’t know how, I’m /still/ not sure how, but I packed all of my shit away and dealt with the issue at hand.
This dream occurred in the middle of this ordeal. I think this was my subconscious showing me that I needed to save myself. I think my subconscious was saying, “This is you. This is where you just were, and a part of you is still there. You have separated yourself from this side of you- from this girl, and now you have the opportunity to save her. You’re on the surface. You can be the savior. You can be the survivor.”
This dream was trying to show me that if was going to get to the surface again, I had to do it myself. /I/ had to be the savior. /I/ had to have the strength.
I didn’t recognize myself within the dream, because that drowning, depressed girl wasn’t the girl I was at the time. It was me, but it wasn’t where I was mentally. It wasn’t where I could be. That trip gave me the chance to find my strength, get ahead of my depression, to be the girl on the surface, /to turn the chained girl right side up and raise her to the surface enough to at least breathe/.
My depression is still very much part of my life. There are times that it’s very hard. But, I’m not drowning in it anymore. There’s days I’m the chained girl, and then there’s days that I am the girl walking on the outside of the tank. Either way, I’m managing to keep my head above water.

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